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crashingHARD
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Name: Anhton
Location: Illinois, United States
Birthday: 12/17/1986
Gender: Male
Expertise: i'm not a expert at anything.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
3/27/2004
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| its hard being the floor
try to be as stable as possible to hold the people that need to stand on
i want to be able to be there for each ans everyone of the people i car about
old friends and well as the new
but its hard to function while stretching yourself thin
its hard enough just being able to stretch your self at all
if you can still hear this
i don't want to give up
and i care for you all
as much as i want to sleep right now
i my worry tells me that i need to work
adieu
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| lately i've been sleeping to dream
i've missed school because of it
for the past two days i've been awake
for maybe 10 hours at most
its been troubling me
these dreams are quite pleasant by all means
but they are interesting
its been three intensive dreams
the first was a a mixture of SAW and reality TV
given the a time limit contestants are put into
a room inside a suburban house
obviously this room is a death trap
and at the end of seven hours everyone
inside the house will die
each room to its specific torture
contestants are to find a way out
for every one person you save aside from yourself
you are granted $100,000
to cut a long story short, in the last five minutes
i made it out and managed to get two people out of their rooms
which was a disappointment since there were ten rooms
both males, one adult, one child we pulled open the front doors
as they were slowly closing with the second
running outside the child, instead of using the concrete path jumped over a bush
a spike like object immediately jutted out and impaled the child
so the adult male and i survived but as we walked away
another group of ten were coming out of the forest adjacent to the house
and i woke up not knowing if they were the next contestants
the second takes place in a farm house-esk home
where my family and i supposedly lived for awhile
i wake up in my dream to gun shots and screaming
running out of my room i was quickly greeted by my family
coming up the stairs with my father last shooting into the unknown
my brother sprints into his room and my father with the mini-revolver
yells at everyone to go into the crawl space above the garage at the end of the hall
i being the last until we pass my brothers room and i notice that he walks out of his room
with a pistol in one hand and a second clip in the other
we all make it in the crawl space and dad is the last one in
hes tired and exhausted
he hands me the gun and my brother hands me his in pieces
i distinctly remember trying to put it back together but couldn't at the moment
so i reloaded the revolver and prepared for whatever was on the other side of the crawl space door
suddenly the garage door opens and soldiers of some army are shooting at us
from the way they were moving, the seemed like zombies but yet the were shooting
in the rush i put together the other pistol and fire through the first clip
the kick back was amazingly realistic but
some how i have sharp shooting and lay down the five coming into the garage
now the revolver is empty and the last eight round of the pistol are loaded
i remember going back through the crawl space with my family yelling stop
but i couldn't since we needed the ammo in my parents room back down the hall
one zombie was in the hall already, i aim and count off the round to keep track
the last thing i remember was getting to my parents room and
running to they're closet to get the revolver ammo
then i woke up to a 6pm darkness
the third was a mental institution or some kind of military lab
the halls were sterile and cold bright
they had locked cells with those little one foot glass panels
so you can see into the room, tiled white floor
brick baby blue walls and thick metal doors
i'm walking it this lab coat, clip board, scientist
and two other people whom i know closely but can't put a face to
i'm looking out the corner of my eyes into each room
not paying attention to what this government stick jockey is saying
but i'm still going along for the ride
I'm only catching glimpses of the people in these rooms
some look sick and others don't look like they are human at all
banging on the metal with faces pushed up against the window
what do these mean?
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| this past weekend has made me really look back at life right now
my mother's 62 birthday was sunday
and all weekend, my brother and i were working on a slide show of old photographs
for her entertainment present
it was pretty good but looking at the pictures and we were scanning them in
i realized that my mom was really beautiful back in the day
not only that but those pictures really put into perspective
chronologically how long my parents have lived in the states/
so i was already at a sense of nostalgia when, after cake and slide show
my father begins to have gastric pains and disappears
5 minutes later i find out that he went up stairs into his bathroom to vomit
now he's laying down and both sisters and mother are trying to figure out whats wrong
to be on the cautious side mom decides to call for an ambulance
they pick dad up and bring him to northwest community hospital
to cut a long story short, they keep him overnight to run some tests
and in the end they believe he drank too much and the alcohol is antagonizing an ulcer
so he's fine but i've never even heard of my dad vomiting
an his pride is now cut down from being wheeled out by the EMTs in front of the family friends
its just put into perspective yet again that he's old
and not immortal, as all children of believe their fathers to be
if push comes to shuv i would not be ready
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| its something about some people that i hang around that really pisses me off
and please in no way get me wrong, these are the people that i love to the end of me
but if you cannot rely on your friends to judge you for momentary slip-up, then who will
which i blame my-self for not saying anything when i should have, and yes,
somehow, in the years that i've spent in college so far i've somehow lost my backbone
somewhere between being outgoing enough to meet new people
and accepting people for the front they hold up, which is by far my biggest mistake
i do realize that my way of thinking is very impersonal and calculated but it is not cold
I'm Bottled Up Right Now And Ready To Blow
saying this is a rant is too cliché
but know that some of you will be hearing from me in the near future
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